


moats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and payphone calls

by Cavengari



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, an extremely short character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 23:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10581861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cavengari/pseuds/Cavengari
Summary: Trini is fourteen when she first comes out.She’s small and scared and barely four months into her freshman year of high school, and she doesn’t know what this is—what it means for her, about her. All she knows is that Amber Gilliam is a hell of a lot prettier than any of the boys on the football team.or;trini's wlw awakening in a series of coming outs





	

Trini is fourteen when she first comes out.

She’s small and scared and barely four months into her freshman year of high school, and she doesn’t know what this is—what it means for her, _about_ her. All she knows is that Amber Gilliam is a hell of a lot prettier than any of the boys on the football team.

Her mother is chaperoning one of her brother’s school camping trips and she thinks that maybe she should wait, maybe she should tell both of her parents at once. But she doesn’t know how much longer she can go without telling _someone_ , and she doesn’t have any friends at school to talk to. So she goes to her father, asks if they can go on a walk, just like they used to when she was middle school. Her confidence wavers when he agrees without a moment's hesitation, because there’s so much _pride_ and _love_ in his eyes and she’s suddenly not so sure if she can go through with this. But he’s her dad, her biggest supporter, her best friend, and he wouldn’t reject her over something like this, right?

So she steels herself and looks straight ahead and tells him that she thinks she has a crush on a girl from the cheerleading team.

He says nothing but “don’t worry, you’ll get over this,” and for a hopeful moment, Trini thinks he means she’ll get over Amber. She risks a glance at his face and from the look there, it’s clear that he does not.

They don’t talk about it, and they certainly don’t take any more walks.

A month later, her mother gets a new job, and Trini leaves Arrowbrook High (and Amanda Gilliam) behind.

* * *

The second time she comes out, she’s halfway through sophomore year and she has her first girlfriend. Isabelle is tall and gorgeous and _much_ more experienced than Trini. They eat lunch together under an old spruce tree and talk about their classes and plans for spring break. Isabelle is her first kiss and it’s sweet and soft and demanding.

And then she comes over for dinner and things go to hell.

Trini’s parents love her. She’s polite and charming and Trini can’t help but think that if she were a boy, her parents would have figured it out by now. Her father looks a bit suspicious as it is.

And then Isabelle kisses her on the cheek and her mother’s eyes narrow. “So,” she says and stabs a piece of lettuce with her fork, “how long have you two been friends?”

Isabelle’s brow knits in confusion and Trini sighs and averts her eyes.

“Girlfriends, mama,” she corrects. “We’re dating.”

The table is silent. Her brothers glance at each other, confused.

“Dating,” her mother states. “So you’re gay now?”

“No!” Trini glances at Isabelle. “I mean-”

“What, _mija_ , what do you mean?” Her mother interrupts. “How long? Were you planning on telling us?”

Her father is looking away and Isabelle is boring holes into the side of her skull with her gaze. Trini fumbles for a minute, lost, and ultimately chooses to stare down at her napkin, silent. Her brothers seem to sense that something is very wrong. They lean over and whisper to each other worriedly.

“I should go.” Isabelle stands up. “Thank you for the food, it was lovely. Trini, walk me out?”

Head down, Trini follows her outside.

“What the hell was that?” Isabelle asks once they reach her car. “Your parents didn’t know we were dating? They didn’t even know you were gay?”

“I’m sorry.” Trini tugs at her sleeves. “It’s so _confusing_. I’m confused, okay? I still don’t even know what I- if I-”

“If you’re really gay?” Isabelle scoffs. “Was this just a joke to you, then? An experiment?”

“No.” Trini shakes her head furiously. “I really like you, okay? I’m just…”

“ _Confused_?” Isabelle mocks. “I don’t date closet cases, Trini. Especially not ones who are still so unsure.”

Trini gulps. “Are you..?”

“I am.” Isabelle sighs. “I’m sorry. It’s just not worth it.”

Trini sniffs and rubs at her nose. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Isabelle sighs again. “So am I.”

* * *

She comes out again on the same night. Her parents are locked deep in the angry depths of their room, probably arguing about what to do to her. Trini slinks quietly upstairs to the confines of her own room, tired and miserable.

The door creaks open and Trini tenses, prepares herself for another fight. She relaxes when her brothers peek past the door, then slip in and shut it behind them.

“What happened?” The oldest one asks. “Why are mama and papi fighting?”

“Were you and that girl really dating?”

“Yeah, we were.” Trini wipes at her eyes. “That’s why they’re fighting.”

“That’s gross.” The younger brother says. Trini’s heart clenches, tired of rejection. But then, “Dating is gross. I’m never gonna date people.”

Trini smiles a bit. “Would it be less gross if I was dating a boy?” She hedges. The boys think for a moment.

“No,” one decides. “What’s wrong with you dating a girl, anyway? Papi does it.”

“Nothing’s wrong with it,” the other says. “Mama just doesn’t like it. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Right Trini?”

Trini gives a watery laugh and wipes at her eyes.

“Right.”

* * *

Angel Grove is cold and uninviting. Trini slouches through her school days with her beanie pulled low and her headphones over her ears. _Junior year will be different_ , her mother had told her. _You’ll do well in your classes and make new friends and maybe you’ll meet a boy you like_.

Trini scowls. What a joke.

Junior year is _exactly the same_. She gets Cs, stays friendless and isolated, and makes a conscious effort to _not_ meet anyone she likes, boy or otherwise. At home she stays silent, tired of trying to fit into the mold of her mother’s impossible standards.

Things stay the same until a night in the quarry where Billy Cranston causes and avalanche and the boy from the other cliff presses a yellow agate into her palm and Kimberly Hart takes her hand and yells for her to keep up as sirens blare around them. Jason Scott pulls her into the blue minivan and all five of them scream as the train crashes into them and she wakes up the next morning, _alive._

Even then, she hopes for things to stay the same.

They don’t, though, because they never _really_ do, and after school, Trini finds herself back in the mines, half looking for answers and half looking for isolation.

She finds neither.

The boy from before, the one from the other cliff, is fast. He scales the rock face easily, then follows her across the ravine. He’s heavy, too, and his body feels hard and uncomfortable against hers. She hears a faint _what the hell, Zack?_ and rolls her eyes, pushes him off of her.

Kimberly and Jason jump together, then Billy (who kind of makes it but not really) and then Zack and Jason are jumping down after him and Kimberly’s watching her with a curious look.

Trini tries to keep her face neutral as she meets Kim’s stare, but pretty girls are one of her biggest weaknesses and she can’t maintain eye contact for long without blushing, so she turns away. She’s about four steps out when Kim asks for a sip of her water. She turns and holds it out with a clipped comment not to drink it all, and then Kim’s apologizing and they’re flying over the edge of the cliff.

The water is unnaturally warm. Trini frowns, surfacing. Their powers, their stones, the whole _not dying after being hit by a train_ thing, _all of this_ , is too weird to be real.

It gets weirder, she finds, when they reach a cave that has seemingly inverted gravity, and even weirder when Jason leads them through a spaceship to talk to a sentient wall. And honestly, when her mother accuses her of being on drugs later, Trini sort of believes her.

But the next day they’re all at the spaceship again, waiting for her, wondering what the hell is going on. And Trini’s wondering that, too, so it sort of feels like she’s stuck with them now.

And the fourth time she comes out, it’s to them.

It’s barely of her own volition. She’s half drunk, sitting around a campfire and listening to her new teammates’ problems, which really do sound a lot more valid than her own. She doesn’t even mean to tell them—two times out of three, coming out has basically blown up in her face—but Zack asks about boyfriend problems and she can’t help but scoff.

“Girlfriend problems?” He amends.

Trini looks away.

* * *

The fifth time isn’t really coming out at all.

She’s sitting in Zack’s train car eating yellow M&Ms from a plastic bag. Zack’s staring at his phone, squinting in concentration.

“Hey.” She sets down her candy and kicks his shin gently. He pauses his game.

“What’s up?”

Trini thinks for a moment. “How do you tell someone you like them?”

“Holy shit.” Zack sets down his phone. “Are you gonna ask Kimberly out?”

“No.” Trini shakes her head. “I think she asked me out, though.”

Zack’s jaw drops. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I think.” Trini pauses again. “She was acting super nervous and then she asked if I wanted to go to a movie with her, and she’s dated girls before, so…”

“Oh my god.” Zack breaks into a huge grin. “She totally asked you out!”

Trini winces and his grin fades. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just…” She sighs. “I really like her.”

“Dude, I know.”

“But I’m a pretty awful person to date.”

Zack’s eyebrows scrunch. “Why?”

“I don’t even know what I am.” Trini rolls her head back, groaning. “What if she wants to label me? Or for me to label myself? Or what if she finds out and doesn’t want to date me at all?”

“Hold on.” Zack waves his hands. “You’re not gay?”

“I don’t know!” She covers her face with her hands. “It’s confusing!”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He pats her knee awkwardly. “Look, Kimberly likes you. She’s not gonna care if you’re still figuring yourself out. Just talk to her.”

Trini sighs. “Thanks, Zack.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

Kim supports her.

Trini smiles for an entire day after their date. The movie was awful and the walk home was colder than expected, but Kim supports her.

The Rangers are happy for her, happy for both of them, and Trini really can’t believe that things are going this well. Kimberly is sweet and funny and serious when she needs to be, and Trini likes her _so much_. Of course, rumors spread like wildfire at Angel Grove, and pretty soon the entire school knows that they’re dating, which, like… _weird_. A few weeks ago the entire school didn’t know she existed.

“We might want to tell your parents.” Kimberly suggests one day. “They’re going to find out eventually, and it would be better if they heard it from you.”

“Do we have to?” Trini asks.

Kim shakes her head. “Of course not.”

But her face falls by the tiniest fraction and honestly, Trini would do anything to keep her happy. She’s right, anyway. Her parents will find out soon enough. She owes it to herself to at least try.

Kimberly comes over on Friday night and Trini’s parents eye her suspiciously. The situation is almost the same to the disaster during sophomore year, but Kimberly is not Amber. She’s a bit less charming, a bit more awkward, but Trini thinks she couldn’t be any more perfect.

And when she finally tells them, finally manages to say that Kimberly is her girlfriend, and her brother high five first each other, then her, she thinks that maybe they have a shot this time.

* * *

They stay in Angel Grove.

Oh, her mother threatens her. She applies for jobs away from the city, gives her the silent treatment, even tries to send her to a camp (which is where her father draws the line) and throughout it all, Trini stands her ground. A week after the dinner, her mother actually calls a family meeting to discuss her “problem”.

“Why would you choose this for yourself, _mija_?” She asks. “This will only make your life harder.”

Trini sighs and shrugs. “I didn’t choose this, mama.”

“We can help you,” her mother begs. “Why don’t you want help?”

Trini shrugs again.

She wants to say that this is who she is. That she didn’t choose this for herself, but that she’s glad things worked out this way. She wants to say that no amount of moving will change her, no amount of anything can change her, but she knows it won’t help. Nothing she can say will help.

Instead, she thinks of Arrowbrook High, lunch under the spruce tree, training with the rangers, and Kimberly.

Always Kimberly.

**Author's Note:**

> oh god this is really short and cringey. i normally shoot for at least 3.5k but i didn't really know what to add to this. sorry :/  
> completely unedited & all run-on sentences are purposeful because i've fallen in love with a grammatically incorrect style of writing. find me on tumblr @lxnaluthor.


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